So if each school were a bier, which bier style would they be, and what's the best commercial example to ascribe to each school? Here are the biers of the SEC in alphabetical order.
Alabama - The Tide needs a bier with staying power that can withstand the test of time. They also need a bier steeped in tradition yet thoroughly modern and in vogue. Wow this is a hard choice between a BIG bold barleywine and an age old yet thoroughly modern classic like a Trappist ale. Not being able to decide I'm going with Alabama as the Russian Imperial Stout of SEC football, dark and imposing. Commercial example - Ten Fidy or Oak Aged Yeti.
Arkansas - Woo Pig Sooie! Along with South Carolina the Razorbacks are the newest addition to the SEC, yet they have a long history of athletic success on the gridiron and beyond. Arkansas is best described as competitive, entertaining, and withstanding the test of time fairly well. Thusly Arkansas is something of an entertaining quaffable ale, perhaps they're best described as a tasty Brown ale. Best commercial example is possibly Turbodog.
Auburn - The Tigers deserve something fitting of their status as a strong program with lots of star power, think Bo Jackson one of collegiate athletics all-time greats. Given the current editions failures on defense and creative prowess on offense I think the Tigers would best be described as a Belgian Pale Ale. Commercial example - Pranqster.
Florida - With brash Gator-Chomp in tow, the Gator faithful stand behind their team. Something of a johnny-come-lately in SEC athletics, they've certainly made a statement! Bold & fresh are what come to mind when I think of Florida so I equate them to a big bitter spicy India Pale Ale. Commercial example - Racer 5 or Hop Rod Rye.
Georgia - With Heisman winners Frank Sinkwich & Herschel Walker being among the south's favorite sons the Dawgs have produced some memories over the years. Much like LSU, capable but rarely living up to the possibilities this is still an enjoyable team to pull for. Filled with complexity and entertainment the Bulldogs are absolutely a bier deserving of respect but left grasping for truly elite status. They are a Dopplebock. Commercial example - Paulaner Salvator.
Kentucky - One of the best coaching jobs in the business of late has been done by Rich Brooks, and I respect that! Yet this is the university that could have had Paul Bryant & Adolph Rupp as it's coaching legends but decided to give one a new car and the other a cigarette lighter. Curious move indeed. Watching the Wildcats in a good year is medicine for the soul as the perpetual underdogs continually impress with their level of good fundamental play. Kentucky is the Wit Beer of SEC football, straight forward with just a hint of spice. Of course this makes the Wildcats a Hoegaarden.
Louisiana State - The mirror image of Georgia, only with much more success of late due to the resurrection performed by Nick Saban and Co. One of the all-time classic college football clips is Heisman winner Billy Cannons long weaving touchdown run in the mud against a top flight Ole Miss team. Much like that run the atmosphere before a game outside the stadium is also legendary in college football circles. Anything to do with the Bayou Bengals needs to have bold flavors yet a smoothness to go with good cuisine. LSU is the Porter of the SEC, dark and robust! Commercial example - Anchor Porter or Fuller's London Pride.
Mississippi - The team with a good history that has done little in the modern era. Sadly that's a fitting description for the Rebels. On the bright side, or dim depending on how you want to look at it, Ole Miss fans like to brag, 'we may lose the game but we never lose a party!' Great attitude for the party, not so much for athletics. The beer that best fits Ole Miss is probably an easy drinking Scottish Ale, Scotch ale's smaller less complex yet more versatile brother. Besides a St. Andrews cross fits right in at an Ole Miss game! Commercial example - Pyramid's Tilted Kilt.
Mississippi State - Depending on your perspective the Bulldogs are arguably the most sickly program in the SEC, Vanderbilt being the main competition. But that's not to say they are without merit or unworth of being considered for a quaffable ale! MSU is like an American Dark Lager, mild flavors not quite interesting and quaffable. Commercial example - Leinenkugels Creamy Dark.
South Carolina - The team with the best fan support for such a mediocre program. Sure there's been a bright spot or two, but producing a consistent winner at South Carolina has proven to be tougher than a box of nails. The good news is that few fan bases pack out the stadium year after year after year after year after each year is considered a failure. Gotta love persistence and can-do attitude so the Gamecocks are the mixed bag of the sports world just like California Common AKA Steam beer. Commercial example - Anchor Steam
Tennessee - How many times do you have to watch a Tennessee game before you know that Rocky Top is gonna blare with the most marginal of accomplishments, ONCE is the answer. Given the perpetual playing of Rocky Top, running out of the T, and the checked endzones the Volunteers are one of the most recognizable teams in collegiate athletics. That doesn't even mention their particular shade of orange which is surprisingly close to hunters orange. Recognizable, long lasting, and historic are terms one could use to describe Tennessee or an English Barleywine. Commercial example - Anchor Old Foghorn.
Vanderbilt - I typically save the best for last, not today! Undoubtedly the most failure prone program in the long history of the SEC. Sure they were a fine team way back in the leather helmet day, but if asked what have you done for me lately the answer would return, "mostly nothing". With passion matched by a church mouse the fan base is sometimes outnumbered in their own stadium. Now I like most find it easy to root for the Commodores when they're not playing my team. There can be only one antidote for the wine sippers in Nashville, Malt Liquor! Commercial example - Three Floyds Dolemite.
